A Gassy Girl.

Work today was pleasant.

Not many of the buyers were in the office, so I was free to hang out with the Data Entry ladies (Maureen & Chris) for the majority of the day.

Both are outspoken individuals with jobs that aren't self-satisfying. The result is very entertaining and enjoyable for bystanders such as myself. Maureen is tall, pleasantly plump, and wears flow-ey earth tone skirts with matching sweaters or vests. She puts her hand on your shoulder in a motherly way if you look troubled and frequently uses terms of endearment such as, "dear" and "sweety". She likes to talk about sex and makes it clear that she enjoys participating in such on a more than regular basis. Maureen takes two smoke breaks every day and says that she does so because "this place owes it to me". She once had me pick her up a pepperjack cheese pepperoni roll from McB's gas station. She has eaten one of these delicacies every day since. Her computer desktop layout is a winter cottage.

Chris is her partner in crime. They were friends before they got their corresponding jobs at Gabe's and live down the road from each other. Chris has lots of smile lines and seems the type you would find in a biker bar on any given weeknight. She has a dog that she frequently talks about (probably moreso than her husband). Chris has more of a harsh personality....she tells you like it is. She likes Special K bars and 'MyTea' (a brand that she can't seem to find anywhere but the Gabe's vending machines). She once told me that if I wanted to get anywhere in the company, I needed to hike up my skirt and yank down my shirt. I still haven't taken that advice to heart... Her computer desktop layout changes by the hour. Each day presents itself with a new adventure into the world of screensavers. I'll be sitting in my cube minding my own business, when all of a sudden I start hearing the faint sound of chirping birds and mosquitos. Or, a roaring, crackling fire. At that time, I know for sure Chris has been away from her desk longer than 5 minutes.

Today, I asked them what they would do differently if they were able to travel back to age eighteen. Maureen dominated this conversation, with Chris chiming in intermittently. Maureen said that she would have: not married a loser at the age of nineteen, taken better care of her teeth, been more healh-concious, treated her mother better, gone to college, and traveled the world before being tied down with grown-up stuff.

Somehow, this all spawned into both of them giving me advice on what my future husband should/shouldn't do. The only one I ever want to remember for the rest of my life is this: "If you start dating a guy who farts in public places or around you...kick 'em to the curb. Cause you KNOW that eventually, you're going to pick up his bad habits. No one likes a gassy girl."

A content day.
Project Runway tonight.